"This is for us", he Promised.

 

"... Hmmm, dinosaurs... Dinosaurs fascinate me."

 

Is there anything more blissful than seeing the person you love happy?

 

I can't ever take time for granted.

 

Bear is gone now.

 

I've got 136 days till I see my sir Lovie again.

 

"This is for us", he promised.

 

And it is! But it's hard. How is being away from your other half ever easy?

 

I can't sleep at night, even though I beg my body to let me! Bear is with me in my dreams, bear hasn't left me. Bear will never leave me.

 

"I love you, Bunny. This is it. Oh my god, I love you! I love you so much!"

 

"I love you too, Bear. I'll miss you."

 

I'm trying to be calm, but everything inside me wants to yell.

 

I surround all bear's things around me.

 

We'll be ok.

 

*Gie gie

 

 

 

 



Tea blog- Ride a ferris wheel.

 

I feel like tea is my little savior.

 

I can talk about anything over tea, it's like alcohol...

No, it's not, how would I know? aha..

 

I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm rambling.

 

OH MY GOSH.

 

Finally, in like whatever many months it's been, I've got another cross-out on "the list" last night. I've explained the list before, haven't I?

No, you haven't.

 

No, I haven't.

A list Bear and I started a while back, on stuff we'll do together before we fly into whatever you believe comes after death.

Ride a ferris wheel.

Since I'm mildly scared of heights, I don't know what the heck possessed me to want to ride the largest ferris wheel in Chicago first. But we did.
And on the top, with the cold air, and our cold fingers locked together, he kissed me. Like I'll never forget.

"Is that cherry?"

And it was, just, perfect.
Because everything is perfect when I'm with him.

*Gie gie

My mouth goes...

 

I try not to worry too much.

 

Hi hi, if you're reading this!... Hi.

 

I feel so, separated. I need my Bear. I need my Bear's hugs.
Those are my favorite.

I keep finding myself thinking 'bout the same things,

*Why are turtles are so effin' cute?!

*How many licks does it take to finish a tootsie pop?

*Mr Lovie.

 

Bear makes me happy. Really happy.

*Gie gie


Let's talk 'bout him, yeah?

 

 Ohhh.. Cuuute.

 

Maybe in a past life Bear was a catholic?

Doubt it.

 

Well that's an old picture. Long before Bear became Mr Lovie to me... So I guess before I knew what heaven on earth felt like, I guess.

 

He's like magic.

 

I'm getting off topic.

Did I have a topic?

 

Mr Lovie is always a good topic!

 

Let's talk 'bout him.

 

*Gie gie



But, God, I miss him.

 

 

Maybe its the way he kissed me.

 

Maybe it was that side-ways smile.

 

Heck, maybe its the fact that Father Evil is keeping me away from bear, and threating to only make it worse  if I don't.

 

But, God, I miss him.

 

*Gie gie



Leave me speechless

 

Look at all of this, all these people, that little kid just walking along next to his dad, I know this sounds cheesy, but just think about it.

What if everything we knew today, was gone tomorrow?

 

The silence between our two souls grew as loud as the rest of the noise in the building, people coming and going, passing by and then disappearing onto their own way.

 

He has a way with words, that leaves me speechless at times.

Oh my god.

Right?

*Gie gie




I'm not a poet on Mondays.

 

Tea.

 

I'm addicted to tea.

 

I'm addicted to Mr Lovie.

 

And he's addicted to me.

 

I didn't mean for that to rhyme, I'm not a poet on Mondays.

 

He'll be gone in January. Five months. Five, lonely, months.

 

But this is for us.

 

He'll be back, and we'll be alright.

 

I'll take care of him. He'll take care of me. We'll take care of ourselves.

 

After all, like he says, "we're the only last two."

So what am I supposed to say, when I'm not allowed to love.
Mama and Papi don't know.
 If they did, they would only try harder to keep Bear away from me.

Bear will be in college next year. I'm proud of him. Why aren't they?

 

*Gie gie

 

 



"Gie gie, I love you."

How does our story start?

 

Well, it wasn't that magical, "Love at first sight", or that cute, "Boy meets girl" story.

(code names are always used throughout my blog, in order to not spread drama on the internet, I thought it was a good idea.)

 It was us, "Mr and Miss Lovie", our own story.
I was giving up on trying something that would never [ever] work, He had given up on the thought of Love being real, and we both would've never expected it.

I can remember that afternoon almost perfectly in my head,

"Gie gie, I love you."

"Awh, well I love you too, Bear. You're the best friend I could ever ask for, thanks for--"

"No! Gie gie, I mean, I really love you. I'm. In-love with you."

"Bear?"

"This is crazy, you have a boyfriend, you're probably never gonna talk to me again and things will be weird between us, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry"

"Hey! You're not stupid, and I promise, things won't be different or weird, we'll just forget it, yeah? You're still my best friend, I'm not going to stop talking to you over something like this."

"Yeah."

I was so silly to think that'd be the end of it, he was my best friend, only my best friend. And he was right, I was dating ThisB at the time. What could I do?

Forget about it? Just ignore it? Just a little crush, it wont go no where.

Right?

 

 *Gie gie

Speaking through photos.

 

 

 

 Gosh, you're lovely...

*Gie gie



What if?

 

But what am I gonna be, if I lose my life, lose you?

 

I do believe in love. I do, I do.

 

*Gie gie